It has been raining here for about three days straight which is unusual weather for us. It would have been lovely if it had snowed; it would have covered the ugly and brought out the beauty in this city. Everything looks better, more fantastical with snow on it. The city resembles a pet stranded in the rain when it is simply cold and wet outside. It has made for most uninspiring thoughts and ruminations. Today, the clouds seem to be lifting, or at least, parting, and the sun is struggling to break through.
I watched the sun rise against the clouds; to the west where the clouds are living for the moment, a beautiful pink appeared. Then an orange, and then the color was gone; leaving behind ordinary clouds.
I think life is the same way; it is like a stormy sky. Sometimes we rage against what we believe is wrong or painful, then we calm down and cry about what is hurting us. It is a catharsis that allows the cloudy days to have meaning, and sometimes provides the clarity we crave. It allows the clouds in our minds to lift, to let the sun shine in, and for the beautiful pinks and oranges to return momentarily until the color disappears leaving us with a feeling of calm and acceptance of the feelings that we raged so terribly against.
However, it does not mean we have to like what we have learned to accept simply because there is no other choice. It means life moves through periods of intense beauty and periods of intense sadness; I have manic depression so I probably feel these “mind storms” more intensely than the “normal” person. After a period of thought, I realize that I do not have to like the fact that my friend is dying, however I accept it because there is no choice. You can’t rage against the inevitable; the inevitable is immutable, and all the railing and ranting in the world won’t change it.